Dear Beat Babe,
I am seriously stuck here. I have a friend who… I don’t know how else to put it… but who has always been a… well, a hussy. She’s been this way since I’ve known her in middle school. It’s a definite compulsion and problem. Recently, I heard through one of our mutual friends that she slept with another friend’s husband. WTF! I know this woman, I know her daughters. I feel sick about it. Do I confront my friend? Do I tell the wife? I am stuck and I can’t stop thinking about it.
UGH! Very hard situation here. Let’s have a craft beer because they fill you up- maybe even with some liquid courage.
Unfortunately, this type of situation happens so often that the Real Housewives can’t keep up. DAYUM. I feel for you because you are really in a bind. On the one hand, you are riddled with guilt because you know this secret that could potentially ruin a marriage, friendships, families, etc. But on the other hand, if you keep it to yourself, your friend could stay in a terrible relationship and who knows- gain an STD, or worse.
Here are a couple of questions for you:
Are you SURE this information is true? If it is, are you sure that the friend (the wife, that is) isn’t already aware of her hubby’s little indiscretion? If she doesn’t know, do you know if there’s a previous history of this type of behavior? There are so many variables. Usually, when someone gets involved in a person’s private business, it’s a disaster. Most often, the wife is told, she flips the eff out for a while, but eventually takes the husband back, at which point the husband bans the tattle-tale for life. It’s kind of a lose/lose situation.
That being said, have another beer. And then consider leaving an anonymous letter in her mailbox. RIGHT? Evil!! I say another cerveza, por favor!
Final answer? Stay out of it.
Maybe it’s better to approach your “hussy” friend first? Could you go have a drink to “catch up” and see if this information seeps out after your second martini? Then confront her as to why and how and to own up to her behavior. Maybe she should be the one to move the truth along. Obviously, she’s not keeping it hush-hush if you’ve already heard it second hand. She is really the one that needs to handle this. Doubt if she will, but it’s the truth and she should do it…the blabber mouth. Hasn’t she seen the Godfather? TELL NO ONE!! NOTHING, LIKE, EVER!!
This fling wasn’t about love, wanting to be happy, or getting out of a bad relationship. It was probably a drunken roll in the hay. A roll that could potentially ruin a marriage. My opinion? Finish your fancy beer and confront your good-timing friend (AKA the HUSSY, not the wife). No one likes a tattle-tale unless you bring lots of money and beer- sad but true. Best to let it come out without your nose in it!
Dear Beat Babe,
I recently got engaged and I am so happy! My family loves my fiancée and they are very supportive of our union. But here’s the rub: my dad has been freaking out about my wedding budget since the day I was born. He gave us a lump sum of 50K and I thought this would be enough. But, where I live, it’s hardly making a dent anywhere. How can I convince him to ease up and help us just a bit more?
Wait, is this a serious question? I believe you said your dad gave you FIFTY THOUSAND dollars? Is that correct? Friend, straight vodka is your vice tonight because we are having a Come to Jesus, right now.
Holy s**t! $50K? I am assuming that you are over 21 years old? You’ve probably been to college, graduated (did your folks pay for that as well?) and you probably have some form of employment? As does your fiancée?
What am I getting at? Let’s see, your Dad has given you a very generous, and I mean, GENEROUS amount of money to have a beautiful wedding. He’s probably worked his whole life to provide and given you most everything you’ve ever wanted. I am just wondering if you truly comprehend the enormity of amount you are asking for and, therefore, in my opinion, expecting. Most people can only dream of something so amazing.
So let’s get real, here. Have you considered altering your wedding plans or agenda? Perhaps looking for all of the wedding attire at some reasonable venue? Cutting the guest list? Downgrading the flowers a bit? You don’t need top shelf everything. All of these little changes make for big results. Your wedding is going to be beautiful. No one is critiquing or judging based on your freaking flowers! And if they are, they shouldn’t be there in the first place. You need to get you priorities straight. And that’s my honest opinion.
My last bitch here…can’t you pay for some of the extras? If you and your fiancée buckle down and save up yourselves, you will probably be able to pay for a good chunk of the overdraft. If it were me, I’d have another grey goose and talk myself into footing some of this crazy bill. You can do it. I have faith that you can, if this is that important to you. Like my dad said, your legs aren’t broke.
One more thing. Give your Dad a hug from me.