When you’re confident, what makes you so?
When you’ve had a truly kick-ass day, where’d that energy come from?
What inspires you? Motivates you? Lifts you up?
When you feel strong, where is that strength coming from?
In those moments when you’re confident and sure-footed, how’d you get there?
And…in those moments when you’re lost in fear, doubt and worry…what separated you from your confidence, energy, inspiration, motivation and sure-footed-ness?
As I write this, I’m realizing just how important these questions and their answers are. Because ultimately what they’re all getting at is personal power; that strength that allows us to move in the world with ease and grace. And knowing how you connect to that?? Well, it’s an essential question.
So rather than breeze through those questions, go back, take a moment and reflect.
Go ahead! I’ll wait…
You see, in the world of personal power, knowledge is king (or queen, if you prefer matriarchs). The more you know about what sets you on fire, the better equipped you are to tap into it when you need it. And the more you know about your kryptonite, the thing or things that separate you from your mojo, the better able you are to design a life without those toxins.
So keep your answers handy. Expand on them. Explore their boundaries. Visit them on the days or moments when you’re feeling off or disconnected or in need of a boost.
When I answer each of these questions for myself, I’m always brought to the same place. I am at my best and happiest when I know I can rely on myself; when I feel a deep and abiding trust for myself. I am at my strongest when I’m caring for myself in meaningful and relevant ways. It’s my experience that there is magic is in the kinds of actions that cultivate a sweet relationship between me and myself.
The older I get, the more I understand that internal confidence and strength depends on who I am being in my solitary moments. What matters most is the priority I place on self-care.
Think about it this way: you know how you feel when you’re sitting with a best friend or your beloved— a true confidant? (If you don’t have a person like this in your life, then for just a moment, imagine you do.) Maybe you’re simply sitting together — hanging out — or maybe you’re facing a big challenge, but you’re facing it together.
Whatever the scenario is, feel into the connection you have with this person. With this person you feel safe. At ease. With them you are seen, heard, and understood. With them you have the space to feel the way you feel and to think the way you think, without judgment. When you bring a problem to them, they listen. They help you feel grounded. They are dependable and reliable. They help you feel stronger and somehow more able and resourceful.
Tune into all of this. Feel it now in your body.
Now, imagine feeling this way when you look in the mirror. Imagine having this kind of relationship with yourself. Imagine feeling all these feelings when you reflect on who you are. Imagine that no matter what you face, you have an undeniable sense of “I got this.”
To me, my friend, this is power…this is true mojo.
But guess what? It’s also a practice.
So… how do we build this kind of relationship with ourselves? The short answer is – through the mindset we hold and the actions we take. Recently I stumbled onto an approach to building personal power so simple and elegant that my first response was, “DUH! Why didn’t I think of that??” What it said was: To cultivate your internal power/strength/energy, remove those things in your life that deplete it and add things that build it.
Think about it. When you’re engaged in the things that you know are good for you, you feel happier, right? And conversely, when you’re off the rails indulging in bad habits…how does that make you feel? Kinda crappy, yes?
In your life, what are the actions, habits, routines, or relationships that fuel you? Which are the ones that deplete you? Having this clarity positions you for a different kind of life; the kind of life that slaps a smile on your face.
Awareness is always the first step towards change and that awareness — that magical ingredient — will provide you a constant fuel for your mojo.
Remember your answers and your practice, and know that, indeed, you can say to yourself those three little words….
“I got this.”
Stay tuned for John’s next RY guest post: Top 10 Tips for Building Mojo!