Recently I have cut back on my alcohol intake…a dramatic cut. It’s not because I feel like I have a problem or anything, it’s simply because I am trying to lose some weight and want to live a little healthier lifestyle. When I hang out with my girlfriends, I am constantly feeling the pressure to drink. It’s gotten to the point where I am ignoring their invitations because I hate feeling like I have to drink when I am with them in order to be fun or part of the group. How do I explain my situation to them, or at least try to get them off of my back? It’s excruciating.
Listen, I am going to pour MYSELF a glass of bubbly. You, my dear, need a good mocktail recipe and a dose of self-confidence and self-worth.
The idea of cutting my alcohol intake scares the ever lovin’ crap out of me. But I, in no way, condone pressuring my friends and loved ones to drink with me. I can have fun on my own and so should your friends. Those drunk, fat lushes! KIDDING, boo! Just breaking that sober ice.
Honestly, I commend you for the effort and mindfulness it takes in order to reach your goals. And I know that drinking and eating are both very easy and common ways to connect socially with friends, family and co-workers. That being said, maybe you SHOULD give going out to these types of social events a break since you are on a weight loss train. Then not only would you put the temptation to drink (and therefore eat) away from your face, you wouldn’t be dealing with the constant pressure to indulge. Many times, people are jealous of the choices you are making. It’s hard not to want to go out and unwind with some strong ass margaritas and then after you’ve had 2, the largest plate of beef and chicken nachos drizzled in cheese and guacamole known to man. Your inhibitions are low, and you justify that you’ve really only eaten some bran and salad that day, so what’s a plate full of nachos going to hurt?, and you know good and well that when that waitress comes back you are DEFINITELY ordering another cocktail because goddammit you feel amazing. It’s a very real and vicious cycle. And one that I love and do every goddamned weekend.
If you are serious about your goal, take a break and focus on that. Let your friends know that you love them, but you are really trying to make a healthy change and that you need their support. That’s not to say that you’re never going to be eating Nutella straight out of the jar after midnight on a GNO, but enough is enough and those days will have to be few and far between. If your friends start complaining about your lack of participation, suggest some other activities you could do together that don’t require a beer bong. Take walks, play tennis, get coffee, play cards, cook some healthy recipes and stay at home…shit, brainstorm…there are tons of things to do that don’t require imbibing!
Once you reach your goals, then you can reevaluate your needs, but stay strong, be honest and don’t feel bad about making some healthy changes. I will definitely be rooting for you. I’ll have a very large alcoholic beverage in my hand, but I will be rooting for you. I’ll probably be the loudest.
Dear Beat Babe,
I have a daughter who is on a serious dance team with a prestigious company. She works tirelessly to improve and is constantly looking for ways to improve her skills. Last summer she volunteered to help teach the younger classes to possibly qualify for an apprenticeship this summer teaching on her own. And I am happy to say, she was asked to fill that position. I am very proud. But here’s the prob: my good friend’s daughter, who is on the same team, was not asked to apprentice and my friend is PISSED OFF. She’s pissed and taking it out on me, and her daughter is too, and taking it out on my daughter! Look, I can understand being disappointed, but her girl has done zilch to be offered the position. What can I do to handle this in a mature way before I knock her block off?
Dance Mom gone off the deep end
Pour a dignified gin and tonic, like your mother did every afternoon, and listen to the grand sound of common freaking sense.
What do I know? I know that this is a great example of the reality of life. You win some, my friends, and sometimes you lose some. WOW! Revolutionary, don’t you think? Shit, grow up people. Seriously, is your friend someone who lives through her children’s achievements or what? Life is never fair, is it? But it really becomes sour when someone starts blaming other people.
Reality check: your daughter deserves this position, correct? You said she’s worked her tail off to get here, right? If that is the case, I would remind your friend that although she is upset about this situation, your daughter DESERVES the honor. Period. End of story. She should take issue with the dance company, not you. What an asshole! And her daughter may be taking cues from her. For shame. Hold on… I am stirring my gin. OK, look, I understand that it may be disappointing for your friend and her kid, but Good Lord in Heaven, it’s not your fault. And you and your daughter shouldn’t be punished and admonished for it.
Final thought? Let her bitch about it and then tell her enough, it’s time to move on. If it continues, I would reevaluate the level of your friendship and her sanity. And as far as handling this in a “mature” way, remember how she is dealing with it. It’s very hard to reason with cray…..remember that.
I am sorry you are dealing with this. It seems to cut into the happiness, excitement and pride you must have for your daughter. Try not to let it- or at least put on a fabulous caftan and have another gin and tonic. It never fails to dull the ever present pains in the ass.