I am turning 16 soon and my curfew is midnight. I am considered the biggest loser because I can’t stay out and hang with my friends. How can I convince my parents I am old enough to stay out later?
My parents suck!
Oh, buttercup, I am so sorry/not sorry that your parents actually give a shit! Please get yourself a glass of milk and open up the Samoas, and let’s have a nice chat.
Look, I can completely empathize with being the odd kid out in a group of “cool” kids. It’s not easy and I don’t envy you. In fact, I don’t envy being that age for a myriad of reasons these days. Social media, for one, would have most likely had me in jail at a very tender age, but I digress. It’s not cool to say, “My parents need me home.” And there is probably nothing I can say to convince you that your parents are 100% RIGHT! (I know, you might need to find the thin mints, too.)
One rule of thumb my parents ALWAYS spouted off that drove me crazy was, “Nothing good is going on after midnight!” And you know what, they were dead right. It pains me to admit this. I would automatically roll my eyes and inside I’d curse them to hell.
But you know what happens? You get older and you become wiser and you realize that your parents actually know shit. They do. They know what is going on and what happens at these parties and they know that, really, “Nothing good is going on after midnight!” BOOM!!
I am truly sorry. I feel your pain. But they are right. And you will understand one day, I promise. You will probably wrap your arms around their necks and thank them. Until then, I’ll finish your beer bong for you.
Dear Beat Babe,
My husband and I are very happy together. At least, I think so. In my eyes, he’s a total babe. He’s kind, smart, charming and completely sexy. But, he’s mine. I have a friend whom I like very much. However, whenever she’s around my husband, she’s a total flirt with him. Like, it’s over the top obvious. I am not the jealous type ordinarily, but this is bothersome to me. I feel like If I confronted her she’d say I was being ridiculous and I think my husband would say I am paranoid. Tips?
My husband is Paul Newman
This is a serious convo. And for serious convos, serious alcohol is advisable. Vodka on the rocks with a twist of lime. Sip slowly, but with vigor. Feel the burn.
I am a big believer in protecting your marriage. And the biggest piece of advice I can give you about protecting your marriage is prevention, my vodka sipping friend. And with respect, I say this with firsthand knowledge, trust no one except your mother. Period, end of story. If you feel like there is something that your “friend” wants or likes about your husband, that’s flattering, in a way, yet it can also be uncomfortable and inappropriate if it’s over the top. It’s like Eddie Murphy always said, “If you think it’s not your man…IT’S YOUR MAN, TOO! If your man ain’t sitting next to you right now, he’s out with someone else.” Now, that’s a bit harsh, but the point is valid. Take care of your relationship and make sure you are vocal. Make it the priority, and don’t get lazy. Hold on now, sweetie- I need more lime.
Maybe you should test the waters here a bit. Have you ever asked your hubs if he’s felt a vibe coming from your friend? If he’s a good communicator and you guys are really tight, he should be able to tell you straight up. Guys know. And they should be able to tell you pretty quickly that they felt the vibe, too. If he sincerely hasn’t felt anything, then maybe you should reevaluate the situation.
But know that I am with you here. Maybe it’s the vodka, but I doubt it. If you get an icky feeling, then I bet your spidey-senses are right. (Mine always are.) My final answer is to protect your marriage over socializing with a flirtatious hussy friend (sorry!). And believe me, if it got out of hand, I’d beat a bitch. Sorry, I wouldn’t really, but liquid courage helps me talk a lot of Rousey-esque smack.
Just follow your gut every single time- it will never steer you wrong. Best of luck, and vodka!