Dear Beat Babe,
I don’t understand why I am so completely and utterly devastated by the death of Prince? I mean, I cannot stop thinking about him. It’s crazy. I am so sad, down, I feel shattered by it. Is this normal?
Purple Love Reigns
Oh God, let’s make a Violet Femme in the Purple One’s honor. Girl, I hear you. I feel you. I have downloaded every single one of his iTunes since my albums and cassettes have not stood the test of time. This Violet Femme will be followed by a trip to Amazon to order Purple Rain. Sniff, sniff…
Okay, so, first of all, I understand. I am guessing you are older than 40 because Prince really did reign in the 80’s. That was his time. A time when we were all sneaking into the theaters to see Purple Rain and wondering if Apollonia really didn’t know those weren’t the waters of Lake Winnetonka. He was a decade, he was a movement, he was an epic entertainer and musician that embodied an important and crucial time in our lives. And he was one of the best times of our lives, at that. With his passing, it feels like a death of that time. There will never be another 1984. A summer filled with Sun-In, pirate shirts, and carefree nights listening to “Little Red Corvette.” It’s damn sad.
Another part is the sheer tragedy of it. He was so young, still full of unparalleled talent and so much left to give. That is the ultimate sadness. The waste of his gift. Now, that’s not to say we aren’t grateful for what he gave us– it’s just that we wanted more. What a shock to hear that he was gone!? And maybe he wasn’t on every radio station any more, and maybe he wasn’t in all of the gossip rags, but for me, that’s one of the things that made him alluring. He didn’t give two shits about that. He cared about the music and the art and he cared a lot about sex. DAYUM.
I was able to see him live a few times and let me tell you, he was THE BEST performer. I was able to meet him..briefly..a whisper of a hello, and God, I loved that tiny, little, skinny, high-heeled man even more.
It’s ok to mourn him. We all felt like we knew him. We loved him. We loved what he gave to us. And we are all incredibly sad “His Royal Badness” is gone. I am with you. I am thinking of him all the time.
Every Violet Femme I ever have ever again will be dedicated to him.
Love in Purple…
Dear Beat Babe,
I am having trouble feeling like I am “in love” with my husband. It used to be so easy, but now I hardly think about our relationship at all. We have three children and it feels like at the end of the day I am too worn out to even think about working on our relationship.
Headed to the Courthouse
OMG. Stop. Dead in your tracks. This really requires some consideration and great thought. Let’s take it easy and just start with glass of table wine. You are going to need a few, though.
First of all, does your husband know that you feel this way about him? If I knew my hubby felt like this, I would be completely horrified. These are like the words you see in a lifetime movie when the spouse is getting the old heave-ho because they’ve met some girl who can fit in the xxxxxxxxxxsmall jeans from forever 21. You’ve got to dig a little deeper here.
Yes, you are 100% right. It’s hard freaking work keeping a marriage together when you have children and other commitments that are keeping you completely occupied. But, frankly, isn’t this what you signed up for? Didn’t anyone explain to you that children are our most beloved gifts, but also ones that suck the essential life out of our beings for a good long time? Come on. This is the part where you say, ok, the next few years are not going to be as easy, or possibly not even romantic, because we have children and have to devote a large portion of our time, attention, and emotions raising them. But, for god’s sake, it’s a finite period of time. Are you going to let a little sleep deprivation and lack of time together ruin everything?
Unless you are completely checked out, there is hope. Connect every single day. No computers or phones or emails. Put that shit away and focus on each other and your needs. It’s freaking important and you need to commit to working on your marriage before you do something you really might regret. Start planning some date nights ASAP. You need to go out, have drinks, live life, and play with each other- like it was in the beginning. You’ll realize quickly that you still enjoy his company and that you need to make the effort.
In your case, I don’t think the grass is greener. Start focusing on some things that both of you enjoy and do them together. Make time spent together a priority. And for everyone’s sake, have more and more sex! It works freaking miracles on both sides.
Last, but not least, stop looking at your friends thinking their lives and relationships are so much better..they are not, believe me. Have a least one more glass of wine and you’ll probably want to, well… you know. Go for it!