One of my good friends is selling aromatherapy oils. You know, like those essential oils that initially cost $750 for the whole set. She is on my jock to buy them and not just buy them, but on me to sell the damn stuff! I want to tell her to take a long walk off a short bridge. HELP! I am seriously going to lose my friend or my mind.
I’d rather reek forever
DEAR GOD! You need to make a gin with a sprig of aromatic oregano and a smidge of a fragrant grapefruit. No, wait. Screw that. Grab a Miller Lite! Hah. Smell like a stale can of beer. I dare you.
How. Freaking. Annoying! You know what, I am proud of you for resisting. You aren’t a pushover. So many people fall for this crap. Whether it’s out of guilt or sheer stupidity- who the hell knows. My mother sold everything from Tupperware and HerbaLife to Cloisinae jewelry. TOTAL NIGHTMARE! And the woman has nothing to show for it except a huge credit card bill!
Why is your friend doing this? Tell her you don’t have the budget! Or tell her you don’t use these types of oils. Coconut oil is a wonder anyway, and that’s all you need. Period. I don’t mean to be insensitive, but why must you be a customer? Because you are her friend? I’ll tell you what… compromise. Tell her you’ll host a party at your house and invite all of your most aromatic friends and throw a great soiree for her. That’s supportive! But be clear that this is your limit.
How’s that beer? Need another?
Seriously- you are not responsible for the success of your friend’s pyramid scheme. Let her drown in an ocean of patchouli. You don’t need the headache. And a dab of lavender on the temples just ain’t gonna fix it.
Dear Beat Babe,
I take pride in my body and I work very hard to maintain my figure. I eat right, I exercise, I get enough rest, etc. And I do have fun, too, in moderation. I have several friends who continually make snarky remarks about me not wanting to eat birthday cake at their parties, or they’ll nitpick what I eat, simply because it’s a healthy meal. I am so sick of it. These friends are not in great shape, and, in fact, a couple of them are overweight. I never tell them they should cut out the fries, or that they could stand to ditch a few desserts themselves. Why do they feel it’s okay to say these things to me?
I do eat burgers!
Shall we sip on vodka over ice? It’s carb free! Even paleo friendly, I believe?
I jest! I completely empathize with your situation. When I was in my late 20’s, early 30’s, I really started to focus on my health and weight. I even started training for a marathon. My sister-in-laws at the time were ALWAYS on my ass about my training. It was a huge time commitment and I was eating very clean and not drinking much. You could rest assured that any time I saw them they would make a snide remark about how I could stand to eat a burger. Or that I was no fun anymore. I wanted to scream because they are ..I’m sorry, but….HUGE! Their idea of a healthy meal is fried chicken. I mean, it IS chicken, right? It wasn’t fair. I could never make a comment. It’s a total double standard. I wanted to tell them that I will have a donut if they quit shoving them down their throats. I resisted. I didn’t drink vodka then.
I think a lot of your friends’ problem with you is that they are jealous. Jealous that you can commit to a healthy lifestyle and get the results you want. And that is hard to do! But just because you are fit and they are not, that doesn’t give them the right to single you out and make remarks. If I were you, I’d confront this straight on. Tell them that you’re sick and tired of the comments. You don’t need their peanut-gallery bitch session when you order your meal at a restaurant. And what is the problem anyway? Say it like that! Like, why does it bother you what I eat? And see if there are any honest answers. And then, I would frankly say, I don’t comment on what you should be eating because it’s none of my business. BOOOOOOOOOM!
They need a dose of their own medicine. STAT. That, and a vodka on the rocks- because we all know the mudslides have about a thousand calories each!