I hate my stepchildren. There. I said it. They drive me crazy. They are with us all summer and I don’t know if I can take much more of it. Please help.
Will I go to hell for saying this out loud?
Hell = a hangover when you have a toddler. That said, you may be headed to the gates of hell as we speak. Here’s the deal: children of all ages, whether they belong to you or someone else, can literally send you over the edge. I empathize. What time is it? 2 PM? Doesn’t matter. Let’s start with a refreshing spritzer and move on from there. I’ll definitely join you, because I have stepchildren myself. The struggle is definitely real!
What’s so difficult about step children is that there is a very fine line that you have to balance in regards to parenting them. You don’t want to be the evil step-mother, and on the flip side, you don’t want to let them walk all over you and call the shots, either. I usually defer to my husband to handle the big dog things and I always put him as the buffer. And I don’t care if that makes me look indecisive or weak. It’s self preservation on my part and it’s worked very well for us. For a long time, I let every little thing they did affect me and my life. Once I realized that I don’t do that with my own children, I started letting their BS slide right off my back. SHIT…HIDE FROM THEM, even. I regularly put myself in time out. Let him deal with the attitudes when it’s getting unbearable.
This is the truth of the matter: You don’t have to love your stepchildren. Heck, you don’t have to really like them at all. But you do have to be respectful to them, and be civil, courteous, and kind. Let their Dad deal with all of the tough shit as you sneak into the other room with your Instyle magazine and your spritzer. Soon enough they’ll realize you don’t hold the cards to their getting what they want. Their Dad does and so they will direct their BS at him. If you love your husband, you have to pretend to like his kids. It’s like with everything else in life. Fake it till you make it.
Should be everyone’s motto!
Hang in there!
Dear Beat Babe,
I am pretty liberal when it comes to most things in life. But I am an advocate for vaccinating your kids. Recently my daughter and many others at her school came down with whooping cough. As she has been vaccinated for this, I certainly didn’t know at first, and we were around small babies while she was contagious. I am so pissed off! All of our vaccines up to date, too! I soon found out that many of the parents at the school are anti-vaxxers, so I started a campaign at the school to get every child vaccinated so this doesn’t happen again. Now, I’m labeled the bully-Donald-Trump of the school. What a mess! Any words of wisdom to help me redeem myself?
I’m a caring parent, not Stalin!
Good grief! Do you have any sizzurp to make the medicine go down? Let’s settle for a hand-crafted ale for all my homegrown peeps out there. This is such a delicate issue, so let’s just rip off the band-aid straight away and deal with the obvious. WHOOPING COUGH? WTF! That is absolutely deadly for a newborn or baby to be around. I would be mortified! I can’t believe that there was an outbreak.
Look, vaccines are what have eradicated so many infectious diseases that the people who are against them have no idea what it would really be like if those diseases were to come back. I am not saying that there aren’t more conservative ways to vaccinate your kid. Spread them further apart if you are afraid. Talk to several pediatricians if you want more than one opinion. Get the recipe for grape sizzurp and forget about it!? I wish. What would really piss me off about this situation is that, obviously, many families lied about the fact that their children have been vaccinated in order to get them into school. If you don’t want to vaccinate them, FINE, but you should be ready to abide by the laws which state they aren’t allowed into public schools for the very reason you have written to me about.
As far as the social repercussions of your decision, I would just say that you are trying to do what’s in the best interest of general children’s health and leave it at that. This is not a popularity contest and it’s not something to take lightly. Be proud you took a stance. You probably have more people on your side than you realize, unless you live in the Amish countryside.
Ales held up, heads held up, sizzurp recipe looked up!
Got a prob for The Beat Babe to solve, and need the right drink pairing? Shoot it her way, at TheBeatBabe@RYmagazine.com!