My daughter just entered middle school. I think that literally every kid at her public middle school has an iPhone. I am not ready to give my 11-year-old the responsibility and freedom and luxury of an iPhone, but the pressure is mounting- not only from her, but also from the fact that sometimes the teachers allow the kids to use them to log onto the google classroom website during class, and she’s the only one without one. But it seems to me like having an iPhone is a big deal and one I have made the conscious decision for her to earn. I mean, we managed without one growing up! And yet, if I was her, I know I would want one so bad….
Can’t it wait?
The quintessential “sounding like our own parents” is truly evident here! “Would you jump off a bridge if everyone else did?” “Well, yes, I bloody well would, MOM!” No, you wouldn’t and neither would I… Oh Lord, get us a Moscow mule so we can deal with the drama!
This is hard. On the one hand, I admire your status. You’re so right! Who really needs this kind of technology at such a tender young age? Why is it so important? What are these other parents thinking, giving their children $500 worth of electronics when these kids lose their water bottles every other day! It’s insanity and it doesn’t look like it’s going away.
I talked to my daughter about this very same issue. The schools are on board with all of the students owning the technology. Basically “all” of the other parents are buying these phones and tablets and the like. But what is the real reason that’s holding you back? It’s one thing to stand on principle and it’s another thing to be swayed by just being stubborn.
I have found that today’s technology is similar to the MTV of my youth. It is all encompassing, mind numbing, and it profoundly affected by life. I learned about so many different types of music and cultures. Europe came alive through MTV. I hadn’t realized there was a world outside of Houston, Texas! This wave of phones and tablets and the like is our children’s generational gateway to what is, basically, their MTV. They watch endless hours of ridiculous Youtube videos; they dance for hours on Music.ly; they Snapchat the bejeezus out of each other with nothing but stupid filters and silly crap. But this is their unifying “children of the 2010’s” culture. It’s difficult, but we have to get with it. These blurbs and names of crappy hobbies will be cycling around Facebook in some “remember when” in 20 years and have them all hysterically laughing and reminiscing.
I say, give the child an electronic! If it’s a phone, maybe something like this contract will make you feel better. Then take a sip of the mule and relax a little. Give her something. Not anything too ridiculous, but enough for her to communicate and be active in the school assignments. Something important enough for her to understand that if she loses it, there will be blood.
I know it’s a tough pill, but give her some rope. Not enough to hang herself with, but to pull herself up and feel vital and current.
My 2 cents…
BEAT BABE TAKES A SHOT ON… JEALOUSY:
Been struggling with the ol’ green eyed monster lately? We all have those moments. Grab a pinot noir and let’s confront.
Jealousy can fester under the skin and can destroy relationships, yet it can be so hard to let go of. It’s a mixture of Why not me?, and I’m just as good/better!, and I deserve xyz! Waaa!, etc. But none of these things really matter and none of these things are controllable. Try to talk it out with someone you trust, or do it in the mirror. Perhaps you can recognize that you admire said person you’re feeling jealous of and then flip that script to being happy for his/her success and admitting that you, too, would like to achieve that. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your feelings, wants, and desires! This is the first step in letting that negativity go. And remember: Your time will come. It may not be the way you think it should or exactly how you want it, but it will happen, and so remember to be grateful. Nothing leads to success in life like having a loving heart, especially towards someone that you actually admire.
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