I am so pissed off at my man, and it’s over something he completely can’t control: his past. His ex-wife is the biggest bitch known to man, and she makes everyone in our family miserable at every turn. I feel rage towards him because he was ever married to the crazy lady. Help me to find ways to soften my rage.
Oh, Bipolar, I can so relate. Like, really. And it’s not a good thing, because I understand how hating the ex eats away at you and your relationship. I know firsthand, because I- true story- almost lost my relationship over these kinds of goings-on. You have to get a grip, and more importantly, pour yourself something super strong. Maybe a nice bourbon on the rocks? No filter, no filler, no additions, just pure and simple.
This is something you cannot control, either. It’s something that you have to say the AA prayer over or say some other magical shit about, because if you want to stay happy in this relationship, you have to accept it. Period, end of story.
Now, that’s not to say that you won’t be upset by the antics. You can vocalize and vent all you want. And frankly that’s one of the important things which has helped me through times like these. You need to be heard and acknowledged. I know you want to unload on him, but honey, get a therapist and stay together.
Now inhale, and smell the gorgeousnesss of that bourbon! Ah!
I know, I understand and empathize your feelings. And so I will ask you to try and do something very (very very) difficult. I want you to try to understand and empathize with your man’s ex-wife. I am not saying to accept her bad behavior, I am saying to try to empathize that she is in a really bad place. She could be full-on crazy and refuse to take her meds. She could be in a full-press downward spiral and hanging on by her fingernails. I cringe saying it, but there is no doubt that she has her own reasons for being a total beyotch. And maybe just try to think that it’s none of your business, if that’s possible.
I hope you’re feeling warm and cozy now. I am sorry you are dealing with this. Try to be compassionate with your him. I am SURE he’s sick of this crap, too.
And remember, I am WITH YOU! Don’t give up, and focus on the most important part: loving your partner!