A LOT goes on in my head. If anyone, even those who know me best, heard the things that rattle around in there, I am fairly certain that they would be aghast. I wouldn’t ever in a million years talk to anyone the way I talk to myself sometimes.
But it’s more than just that. Lately, I have been making a conscious decision to not only change the way I talk to myself, but also the way my inner voice handles everything that swings my way. Now, when I dread something, I flip it. When I fear something, I flip it. When someone says something that initially hits me wrong, I flip that shiz right around. Flipping the script of everything is becoming a habit, and you know what? I’m becoming happier.
It’s cliché, I know. However, this habit is sticking, and I like it. I like the person it is making me become. For example, when I have a rock show coming up, I usually stress out and worry. Will I do okay? Will people know the truth, that I suck? I know I will screw up a chord or some lyrics or something I haven’t even thought of and look like a dumbass…. and blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. But now, I try to remember to FLIP IT as soon as I slip into that old pattern. I’ll catch myself right away and change the script to something like: I can’t wait to do this show. I am lucky to get to do this and share it! How fun! And I just want to give all I can away and for everyone to have a great time. It’s about them, not me.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: it doesn’t matter if the things you tell yourself aren’t completely true. Think of it this way: do you really think that telling yourself “I’m so lazy all the time and no one really likes me” is the truth? The honest-to-god true-truth? Of course not! So if we are going to tell ourselves something that affects us, why not make it beneficial? That’s not saying we should become delusional and grandiose, but there is nothing wrong with shifting to something like “I have a good heart and mind. I am lucky to live in a day and age when I can use them! I love others and others love me.”
That said, here’s a list of some script flips that I’ve come up with and been using. What are some of yours?
- The Social Media Flip [Everyone’s life/feed is better than mine. I don’t even wanna look!]: I can’t wait to see what awesome stuff my friends are up to! And the beautiful pics! How lucky are we to be so connected? What can I share today that I can have fun with and enjoy just because?
- The Competitiveness Flip [Why don’t I have that? I want to have an endorsement/have a thousand likes/go to Hawaii!]: Wow! How cool! Good for her/him/them, that’s badass and inspiring!
- The Rake Someone Over The Coals Judgmental Flip [What the hell is she doing/wearing/posting? Put your tits away!]: YOU GO GIRL/DUDE! Yes! Who cares!? Rock it!
- The Kids Flip [Stop whining! Go do it yourself. I’ve done a thousand things for you in the last half hour alone!]: This little person. Wow. I get to be so important to you? That’s amazing. I love you.
- The Significant Other Flip [I’m too tired. And why don’t you help me more/make the freaking bed/pick up/earn more money/send me flowers?]: I have one person who loves me, like really loves me, right here. I want to treat you right.
- The Ex Flip [FML! My Ex makes it absolute hell! Go away already!]: I’m stronger because of all this. And yeah, I will survive. I am a badass and I set a kick-ass example. And I wish him/her happiness. (Cue Gloria Gaynor.)
- The Hard-On-Myself Flip [No one cares about anything you do. You should just give up.]: It matters. What I do matters. It does, every day! And it all adds up!
- The Body Image Flip [You are fat. You are gross.]: I am so fortunate to have food and a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. I make my own choices, and I try! Life is good.
- The I Can’t Flip [ I can’t because I’m not good enough. I can’t because I am too old.]: I’m going to look back at myself at this age and think, look how young and awesome I was then? So I WILL BE that young and awesome person that the future me sees….I’ll be that NOW! Because I can.
- The Political Discussion Flip [How can they say that? Are they insane?]: Our country has the first amendment and how lucky we are to be able to speak our minds. Whether I agree or not, I have the same right. And I will use my voice to make sure it stays that way. Yay, freedom!
What do you think? What scripts can you recognize within yourself that might need a tweak- or a complete re-write?