There are so many ways to connect. You can connect with yourself through meditation, nature, exercise. There’s mind-body connection. You can connect with others, you can connect with nature, connect with your family, connect your guitar to your amp, or even connect your phone line or your wifi. Our RY Wellness Expert Randi marks writes this month, too, about connecting with yourself.
When I want to connect, one of the first and most key things I have to do is disconnect from the other things vying for my attention. Of course, that usually means my phone, my work, or something else related to technology. Once that obstacle is disconnected and tackled, I, for one, am then considerably more open to connection. Duh, right? Seems like that’s Connecting 101!
When a performer isn’t connected to the other people around, nothing resonates. I recently had a show in which I was so wrapped up in what was going on onstage– everything from issues with my pedals, to remembering the words, to my cables, to my mic stand (which I actually nearly kicked it over at one point, ugh!)– and I am horrified to admit that I wasn’t focused on the audience. How could I possibly connect and play and feel with all these other little “connections” that were, really, just threads disconnecting me from the primary goal?
As humans, connecting is in our DNA. Without it, we can literally deteriorate. Humans left in solitary confinement and animals left alone in cages for long periods can become obliterated, often leaving them socially and physically atrophied, sometimes with a predisposition to self-mutilation. Horrific, right?
Connecting is so important that it’s worthy of our full attention. The little threads that pull us in other directions, like my previously mentioned performance, can tax the real and worthwhile connection and render it non-existent, unfortunately. We need to disconnect to the unfulfilling demands upon us in order to get what we need from the valuable connections in our lives.
Sometimes, too, I seek out those negative connection threads myself. Occasionally I will just touch the name of someone who pops up in my feed, and it can bring up negative emotions, ugly thoughts, and even a depressive state. I know to stay away, and yet occasionally I do it anyway.
We need to cut, to disconnect, those threads that connect us to the wrong things.
Here are five CONNECT-able techniques to DIS-connect the negative threads:
- Use your eyes to establish where your focus lies. Look at the things that you want to connect to. Simple.
- Connect to your blood pressure. It will rise when you aren’t where you need to be mentally, or even when you think about establishing a thread to a negative place. Pay attention to it.
- Have a backup plan ready. When you start to go to the wrong place, have a backup plan of something or someone that connects you to a better and more positive frame of mind. I know that when my mind veers to something that brings me down, I have backups standing by. Sometimes, it’s as simple as your pet’s face or your daughter’s squishy beautiful cheeks.
- Trust yourself. You know when something isn’t benefiting you. So stop pushing and trust that you can cut it and still be ok. You can!
- Imagine real threads. Picture, as if they were real, those threads that are tying you to different thoughts, people, things, concepts, realities. Are those truly what you want to be connected to and associated with? If the answer is no, then snip, snip!
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