The first one was for something called, I think, “Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys” or something or other like that, and my friend Nak and I actually got chosen. But the contract was too stringent and it looked odd, so we passed. Then there was one about a fortieth birthday, but I was already forty, so no- they asked me to fake another fortieth, which I passed on, again. And then there was one about a “Work Spouse,” that Yates and I interviewed for. We did not get chosen.
The irony with all of these was that I felt like I was trying to “be” something that they wanted in each instance. Faking it for reality! How many of them do this, do you think?
When I think about what my real-real reality show might look like, lord, is it boring. It would be more like The Truman Show. Watch me sleep. Watch me stare at a screen. Watch me debate what snack to eat while on a writing break. Watch me pick up the kids, make dinner, and hit the DVR for Rachel Maddow. Exciting!
If your reality, like mine, is much more real than Keeping Up With The Kardashians, then see what you think of this song. Because it came from exactly that place. I always loved the idea of this song, which I came up with back when I was with The cover Girls and we were attempting to write original material. None of them really liked it, so I tucked it away and finished the song a couple of years later.
I see this as a love song, really. Because what’s real and what’s true– the reality in life– is those people that we love, and most of the time, it wouldn’t be particularly exciting or dramatic to watch. Here’s “The Real Show,” and below, find an acoustic performance of it from We Are Austin, featuring my daughter Sidney on backing vocals.
It’s do the dishes, get the kids
It’s I’m too tired and shut the fridge
Doctor visits, running late
Get a sitter, plan a date
It’s little things, it’s compromise
It’s days drag by but how time flies
It’s way too early rise and shine
It’s before dawn… it’s am I doing this right?
They’re all playing us on TV
Held up a mirror but I just can’t see
We are the real deal not a cable fantasy
No that’s not us and never what we’ll be
This is the real
The real show, reality
And baby you are my real
The real, my real, my real, reality
It’s changing jobs, it’s stop your spending
Pay the bills, it’s never-ending
Out of dough and where’s my dinner?
Pour me a drink! and make me thinner!
It’s sounding like a broken record
Make your bed! Put on a sweater!
Worry and a kiss from all the news
It’s careful baby, it’s I love you
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